fast friends, that process entailing many fist-fights to prove my worth- iness. So I grew up shy and introverted, I had playmates only in my dreams.
At ten, two boy playmates and my brother and I discovered an old trunk full of mother's old things, and we "dressed up". I was the mama, in a long skirted black silk dress. My brother the baby in one of my former red dresses (trimmed with white ric-rac) that I dimly remembered wearing. This experience left a lasting impression. had my first remembered sexual stimulation.
I
Nothing else memorable occurred 'til my Junior year in high school (other than an occasional attempt to dress in mother's things which were much too small by now). Then I took the part of a French doctor in a war-time skit put on by our class in school (it was now 1917, and we were at war). Many ladies in the audience remarked "how graceful" I was (a doubtful complement for a 17 year old boy), but one which made me realize for the first time that I was different from the other farm boys in that community, this thought was to disturb me for many, many years, together with my ever present desire to don women's
clothing, a desire frustrated by the lack of things my size and the lack of opportunity, which did not make the longing less.
In the summer of 1918 I tried to enlist, first in the Air Corps and then in the Navy but was rejected because of my height (6'1" and 169 lbs.), and enrolled in a small college in the Twin Cities instead, having a six month scholarship. Wouldn't you know, they put us all in the Army, training as officers to replace the vast number of second lieutenants who died as a result of the popular G. I. sport of shooting them in the back in action. Fortunately the Armistice spared me this fate. However, we never had a uniform or a barracks for six weeks, and drew Army pay. Our evenings were our own, and my buddy and I did not miss a vaudeville show during that time. I was very impressed by the numerous female impersonator acts which were on nearly every bill, especially those in which the "girl" was a pretty boy lavishly gowned. Most were the "comic" type though, funny but not too in- teresting for me. I saw most of the big names of the time, many who later became famous in the movies in later years. Of course I was impressed and thrilled beyond words by these gorgeous "girls" but was powerless to imitate their roles even if I had dared try. Instead I worked hard and long for the next ten years, to the point of exhaust- ion, trying to suppress this compelling desire which I did not under- stand and of which I was so ashamed.
So passed the next ten years, I worked as a gray iron moulder to
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